Friday, November 13, 2009

Discovering new things....

Learning something new every chance we get, discovering things and actually enjoying it, making sure we keep moving forward and other such things have been on my mind lately..... Just returning from Panama, where I spent 10 days trying to make sense of the task we have there: taking care of our mother by long distance!

It rained every day, in the morning, or at night or in the afternoon. It was the time of celebrating all kinds of patriotic days: Independence Day, Flag Day, Anthem Day...you name it. I discovered that there is a never-ending show of patriotism in my small country. Having become an expat by choice so long ago, these things are not high priority for me...maybe never were. So watching endless parades was not on schedule. For sure, I was looked over as strange by most.

Then there was the fact that people think I should move back because...don't I miss all that? Oh, well. Never thought that would be the reason to move back...good health care, beautiful beaches, cheap household help, small communities, now those are reasons I understand. Who would have known? I absolutely do not understand the people I grew up with.

Friends from high school have been trying to get in touch by calling members of my family I don't even keep in touch with!!! On arriving here in Miami, I got emails and pictures of birthdays and reunions. To my amazement, some of them I hardly recognized! Having been out of touch with most of them for over 40 years, it was to be expected....but I discovered I would have liked to see them and probably will contact some of them next time I go visit my mother.

I feel like a citizen of the world, with little or no attachment to my country of birth, people I knew when I was growing up or things I used to do and like. It was not surprising, but it was a bit sad. There are things I missed that I might have enjoyed, or things that I would have participated in, memories I would have made, friendships to cultivate. They stayed behind in Panama and became a tight group, something we were not when in school. That could be a good thing, it is to them, apparently. I sort of envy them that... On the trade off, I have gained a new me, a person I am more comfortable with. Discovering this has been good.......

2 comments:

Yo said...

Hola Mercedes....Muy lindos tus artículos...Estoy muy emocionada porque voy para Curacao la próxima semana, serán 4 días solamente, pero al ver las fotos tan bellas de tu blog la emoción crece más...:-) Ya te contaré más detalladamente de mis planes cuando estos sean más concretos y reales. Un abrazo, Daniela.

Mercedes de Marchena said...

Te envio, que la pases regio!....estuve por allá en Mayo, pero nunca es suficiente. A principios de año, tal vez....