Friday, December 9, 2011

Holidays, Friends, Memories.....

It's that time of the year again. I love it, but it brings so many memories. I do not know if to absolutely let go and enjoy every minute or just reminisce. Those can be inclusive, I do know, but somehow they are not in my mind. What to do!

My family loves Christmas and I have made it very special throughout the years. I keep traditions, I cook, I wrap presents, I decorate...I am exhausted, but everyone enjoys. I think I do too, but memories get in the way. Is this necessary? and shouldn't memories be good? No clue. For me, they can be sad, they can bring tear to my eyes, they can be beautiful. All at the same time, which I want to believe is absolutely normal. Do I want to be normal?

I tend to dwell on my past lives...oh well. Friends and the celebrations we share. The fact that some are not longer with us or are not well and will probably not make it to the next Christmas. Photos come to me of all that I am missing at this point. I get an attack of what some call: FOMO. Fear of Missing Out, missing the reunions with old friends, being there for the ones that are ill, not sharing their joys. Simple joys like a bridge morning in a lovely shady garden, lunch with others to exchange our news......just missing.

Memories...It's been 9 years since we had our big farewell celebration in Curaçao. We were in the middle of moving, but we stopped long enough to make everything just the same as always, keeping to our traditions and our celebrations. It was bitter sweet, but we had a wonderful time. Five years ago, we went back, but of course, the Holidays were not as before. Still we had such a great time! Should repeat soon....

Back to this year, Camille is coming home and bringing her boyfriend Tim. We are all so looking forward to that. It will be wonderful! Since moving to London 8 years ago, she cannot always make it at this time of the year. We travel there: London is fabulous during the Holidays. We meet someplace: a Christmas cruise is so much fun... but all this means we have not had a real celebration the way we used. Is that important? I am sure it is not, right? So this year, we are just going to enjoy every minute we spend together and continue to make new traditions! Memories will probably make us pause, friends will be missed, but we will be together and that is all that matters!