Marja...

This has been a hard week....a lovely person, a dear friend passed way on Saturday. It was expected, she had terminal breast cancer and since November she was living on borrowed time. That did not stop her: she traveled to Costa Rica, enjoyed her family, her grandchildren, celebrated her 70th birthday with a great party, went to Europe, played bridge every Wednesday she could, went out to lunch, received her friends,...all with such grace and such dignity. 

Marja was the most positive person I have ever known. She never saw the glass half full, never saw the clouds if there was a bit of sun. She never judged anyone, was always cheerful....can't say enough about her lively attitude. Our bridge group has had more than its share of sadness. Since I moved to Miami, we have lost three of our friends! It seems so unfair, so cruel. Marja, probably is not liking this. She would have never said life is cruel...unfair, but not cruel.

This group of women that have been friends for more than 20 years, in good times and bad, is once more deeply saddened. We have learned to be close, to share and to support each other. This has hit us very hard, but Marja would have said that we are strong, we can make this journey one more time....still it's very hard. Tomorrow will be the funeral; I wish I was there, to share with them, to hug them and to shed tears, to smile as we remember Marja completely sure she'll be watching. There she is waving at us..... Miss You, Darling!!!

Annoying Disappointments...they are Real!

Disappointments....most people will tell you that they are real. In many cases people's lives are colored by the disappointments in theirs lives, but do we really know which ones are the real thing and which ones are just annoying. Yes, annoying...you read correctly!

When I lived in the Tropics, a disappointment could be a rainy Sunday: no beach! Or it could be not having time at the end of the day to go walking and watch the sunset. One big disappointment: not able to get off the island on school holidays. It got so quiet when everyone was abroad....island fever set in. Going to the supermarket, trust me, and not finding what you where looking for....knowing that that item was not to be found on the island....major disappointment. After all, everything came from abroad. If it wasn't there....you have to wait for the next container...Such was life in the Tropics. Annoying!!!

There are the disappointments we experience when our favorite sports team doesn't play well, loses in the last minute or  even worse...loses to an archival! These are also disappointments...just ask anyone in Boston today!!! This is particularly annoying, I think. These team are composed of individuals that get paid millions and millions. Whose lives are spread on newspapers and magazines, television shows and such. Who are adored by fans and, truly, care very little to give anything in return. Still, fans just get consumed with all the details of games, wins and losses, positions on the charts. Even when you are not even remotely interested, you get sucked in because your husband, your child, your friends are disappointed. Annoying!!!

Disappointments are part of life, annoying or real. We just have to make sure we detect the difference and act accordingly. Learn form the real ones, the ones that change something basic in our lives, like not getting into the school of your choice. When you don't get the job you wanted or needed. When the object of your love rejects you, leaves you. When a friend or family member breaks your trust. These are just a few examples, but you get the idea. You can call these real, look them over and learn from them, like you should do with your mistakes. The rest, see them for what they are....an annoying incident that will really do not affect who you are, what you want, what is important in your life.

So, enjoy the beach when you can go or the trip when you take it. Make changes in your menu if you don't find what you need for a recipe. Celebrate when your team wins, be upset when they don't...but do not dwell on any of it and keep moving on. The beach will still be there next week, your dream vacation is coming soon, you discovered a new recipe and your team will eventually win!!!