Way too long......

I tend to come back to this blog when something happens I have no control over...why is this? I have no clue. Or maybe I do, just don't want to dwell on the reasons. There is too much I already dwell on....enough!

I did go to Panama in July. Stay for three weeks and a bit. Did what needed to be done, kept my mother and sister company, celebrated the town's saint festivities, visited the church, walked along the street behind the image of the saint (yes, they still do that in Latin America!!!). I also went to parties, danced, walked on the beach early in the morning and got stuck one day on the road because of a strong thunderstorm, high winds included! Sixty one trees were uprooted in the area, so it was big. So you see, I do other things when I'm not writing.

A month after this trip, I went back for one week....it's never ending. There is always something to solve, papers to sign. This time I took my husband with me. It was a relaxing trip, despite the hassle of lawyers, notaries and rain! I am back in Miami, trying to get everything organized.....

Traveling to Panama....Again....

There is no escaping this...it's time to go to Panama again. Traveling alone is far from my favorite thing, traveling to Panama alone is absolutely not to my liking....but a necessity. So, once again, I am traveling to see my mother.

Many times I think to myself, how do I really feel about this back and forth? Do I go because I want to see my mother or because I have to go see my mother? Big difference. She is not longer interested in who comes and goes, her life is very structured and she likes her routine. She is doing as well as she is going to do from now on. Only thing my sisters and I can do, is provide for the comforts that make her days pleasant, peaceful.

Of course, nowadays it's easier ...since my sister went to live in Panama. There is not that sense of urgency...... is it that now she is more fragile? or that we know anything can go wrong, at any time? Or my sister is close by and very efficient? Who knows? The only thing we really worry about is the hiring of the nurses that care for her. It's getting more and more difficult to get them. The turn-over is higher now. We've managed to find them, but they don't stay long.  

I tend not to dwell on this. It has to be done...period. Fortunately, lately I have been visiting when there are things to do in town: Carnival, Easter week and other celebrations. It's easier when there are distractions. Still, not the ideal vacation...more to the point: it's not a vacation! This time one of my friends that live in Holland would be there visiting her family. We'll get together and reminisce, always a good thing! So, I bought my ticket, started getting everything organized. Then I'll pack and go.

Marja...

This has been a hard week....a lovely person, a dear friend passed way on Saturday. It was expected, she had terminal breast cancer and since November she was living on borrowed time. That did not stop her: she traveled to Costa Rica, enjoyed her family, her grandchildren, celebrated her 70th birthday with a great party, went to Europe, played bridge every Wednesday she could, went out to lunch, received her friends,...all with such grace and such dignity. 

Marja was the most positive person I have ever known. She never saw the glass half full, never saw the clouds if there was a bit of sun. She never judged anyone, was always cheerful....can't say enough about her lively attitude. Our bridge group has had more than its share of sadness. Since I moved to Miami, we have lost three of our friends! It seems so unfair, so cruel. Marja, probably is not liking this. She would have never said life is cruel...unfair, but not cruel.

This group of women that have been friends for more than 20 years, in good times and bad, is once more deeply saddened. We have learned to be close, to share and to support each other. This has hit us very hard, but Marja would have said that we are strong, we can make this journey one more time....still it's very hard. Tomorrow will be the funeral; I wish I was there, to share with them, to hug them and to shed tears, to smile as we remember Marja completely sure she'll be watching. There she is waving at us..... Miss You, Darling!!!

Annoying Disappointments...they are Real!

Disappointments....most people will tell you that they are real. In many cases people's lives are colored by the disappointments in theirs lives, but do we really know which ones are the real thing and which ones are just annoying. Yes, annoying...you read correctly!

When I lived in the Tropics, a disappointment could be a rainy Sunday: no beach! Or it could be not having time at the end of the day to go walking and watch the sunset. One big disappointment: not able to get off the island on school holidays. It got so quiet when everyone was abroad....island fever set in. Going to the supermarket, trust me, and not finding what you where looking for....knowing that that item was not to be found on the island....major disappointment. After all, everything came from abroad. If it wasn't there....you have to wait for the next container...Such was life in the Tropics. Annoying!!!

There are the disappointments we experience when our favorite sports team doesn't play well, loses in the last minute or  even worse...loses to an archival! These are also disappointments...just ask anyone in Boston today!!! This is particularly annoying, I think. These team are composed of individuals that get paid millions and millions. Whose lives are spread on newspapers and magazines, television shows and such. Who are adored by fans and, truly, care very little to give anything in return. Still, fans just get consumed with all the details of games, wins and losses, positions on the charts. Even when you are not even remotely interested, you get sucked in because your husband, your child, your friends are disappointed. Annoying!!!

Disappointments are part of life, annoying or real. We just have to make sure we detect the difference and act accordingly. Learn form the real ones, the ones that change something basic in our lives, like not getting into the school of your choice. When you don't get the job you wanted or needed. When the object of your love rejects you, leaves you. When a friend or family member breaks your trust. These are just a few examples, but you get the idea. You can call these real, look them over and learn from them, like you should do with your mistakes. The rest, see them for what they are....an annoying incident that will really do not affect who you are, what you want, what is important in your life.

So, enjoy the beach when you can go or the trip when you take it. Make changes in your menu if you don't find what you need for a recipe. Celebrate when your team wins, be upset when they don't...but do not dwell on any of it and keep moving on. The beach will still be there next week, your dream vacation is coming soon, you discovered a new recipe and your team will eventually win!!!